Darkness and Light

(Day Sixteen in my Month of Blessings)

One of my students is doing her internship at the Victim-Witness Office, which works with victims and witnesses of crimes to navigate the legal system and their court appearances. Our class got to go downtown this morning and sit in on court and observe the proceedings. From the e-mail I got from the Victim-Witness Coordinator preparing us for our visit to simply walking into the court building, I felt like I was entering another world – in reality, I was.

We were told not to wear anything revealing or suggestive. Parking is a bear, the e-mail read, bring cash and coins but leave all valuables in your trunk. Do not bring nail trimmers or pocketknives into the building, the e-mail continued; these may get confiscated. So I planned accordingly. I had to borrow cash from Sage’s birthday stash as I had none and wanted to be able to pay for a parking garage, if need be. I had coins from Taggart’s piggy bank for a meter if I happened to find one. And, I dressed conservatively (long skirt, long sweater) and left any “weapons” I normally carry at home with my other valuables.

While observing, we saw a number of men and women prisoners appearing to discuss their sentences or probationary status. Some were there to explain their readiness to return to freedom and their families. One inmate, in particular, pleaded his case and explained that his anger was under control while his wife and young daughter waited nervously for the judge’s decision. He was told he needed to complete a 26-week domestic violence intervention program but was going to be allowed out on probation today. He looked happy and hopeful at the news of his release. His wife looked happy too; she was also the victim in this case. I hope for their young daughter’s sake, he does have his violence under control. I can only imagine the indelible mark this leaves on a child.

So let’s just say after observing general sessions court for an hour and a half, I am so thankful for my life, my upbringing, the choices I get to make every day. My reality is so different from what many of the people I observed today might ever know or even be aware of. It’s an awkward place to be: sad for them but so, so thankful for the good in my life. The contrast was stark, all darkness and light. It felt so good to step out of the courthouse and feel the bright sun on my face. To know I had places to go, children to pick up, a delicious dinner to look forward to - shoot, even folding laundry seemed indulgent in comparison.

Simply put, my “normal” awaited me. My average, ordinary Monday afternoon suddenly looked exquisite. I couldn't get back to my world fast enough. I truly am so blessed.