New Life

I have a friend who is bravely going where I would never tread. She is due with her fourth child on Valentine’s Day at the age of 42 and I am in awe of her courage. She’s growing a new life and living a new life with her new husband, who has embraced her three kids from her first marriage.  They are a new family of five, soon to be six, and my friend, well, she’s tired, sure. But she’s also glowing and vibrant and happy about her new life – all of it.  She joked when she first met her now-husband who had never had kids - but who wanted children - and she told him way back then, “If I had to, I’d take one for the team!” And she is.  All I can say is, “You go girl, you go!”

I have another friend who is bravely defining her identity in relationships.  Deciding who she’ll love, how she’ll love, who she feels comfortable with . . . “Love who you love” is a motto we coined late one night but saying it is often easier than doing it.  On the other hand, not “loving who you love” can be that much harder when you are not being true to yourself and your needs . . . My friend is deciding how to live out her “Love who you love” motto and I applaud her seeking spirit, her willingness to be vulnerable, to unearth who she really is and live into that reality.  Her story is still unfolding as she defines a new way of loving and being in relationship to others.  She’s forging ahead with an open heart; I’m in awe of her too.

My daughter Sage asked if we could watch my and Jeff’s wedding video this morning.  I found it in the cabinet of the TV console and popped it in.  I called out to Jeff that we were watching it and he came and sat down too.  A hundred feelings rushed back as I heard the music, saw my people, watched Jeff wipe tears from his eyes as I walked down the aisle.  We looked so young and happy – excited!  My brother walked me down the aisle and presented me to Jeff.  We stood there and held each other’s hands, smiling into one another’s eyes.  The anticipation, pride, and wonder were palpable. The new life we were about to embark on was beckoning and we were ready.

The unknown – the future – is often so scary because we just don’t know exactly what it will look like.  But in each of these cases, the future is a bright beacon because even when we don’t know every detail, when we do what we do from a place of love and trust, we are affirming an acceptance of good unfolding in our lives.  Even as I looked back and listened anew with my twelve-years-into-marriage ears, I was able to still see the “new” to be had.

A new life in the form of a sweet, innocent newborn child; a new life opening up as boundaries and armor fall away and limitations recede; a new life hidden in the old – beckoning amidst wedding vows that call us to be even better versions of ourselves, more authentic and real. Each of these is a choice we have very day.  Do things the same old way, don’t question who you are or the path you are traveling (even if you are sad and unhappy), fulfill a role out of habit or routine or because you can’t imagine life any differently . . . Or, decide to live out loud . . . Live bigger, think grander, be more of who you are meant to be every day. 

The choice is yours – every day. Mine too. To all the choices – big and small – and to making them from a place of wholehearted courage and fearless faith. Let your heart be your true North. Let your inner-wisdom be your compass. Write your own story. Dream your new life – whatever your “new” might be.  Live that life today.