Me Time

I so need this time. Time to take a walk, pay bills, straighten the house, sit and write. Not only do I need it, I am a much better person for it. I need space to think and settle with my thoughts. To actually hear myself think. I am not good at multi-tasking although I do it all day. Well, maybe I’m good at it but I just don’t like it. It feels like nothing ever gets my fullness. And my fullness is me at my best.

Right now, I’m full of these yummy chocolate brownies I made yesterday because I NEEDED chocolate. Not just a simple craving but a need. My husband Jeff doesn’t get this. Maybe most men don’t. But there are days and times when only good chocolate will do. And it wasn’t just a one-brownie-morning today. It was a two-big-brownie-morning. And I’m good with that. In fact I feel good and full in just the right amount.

In days of old, I would have deprived myself of the brownie only to ambush myself and binge on something I didn’t even like trying to fill up that hole of wanting. Then, I’d deal with the guilt associated with the binge and not being “good”. Gosh, what a waste of time I spent on all that! Now, I don’t even believe in deprivation and eat exactly what I want, when I want, in the amount that is right for me. And the best part: no binges, no guilt. Just a feeling of trusting my body and listening to what I really want and need. And then answering that to the best of my ability.

It always goes back to trust. We have to trust ourselves. To be honest with ourselves, believe in ourselves, pamper ourselves. We are cherished souls and bodies. And if we don’t believe this and treat ourselves accordingly, we set ourselves up for all kinds of guilt trips and hardship. And when we do trust ourselves – body, mind, and spirit – we are filled with a knowing deeper than any longing we can muster. It’s a knowing based on TRUTH – our own truth – and there’s no better antidote to our issues, whatever they may be, than that.