That Dog

Coachable: someone who is committed to their 

own development and is hungry for feedback from 

others to improve themselves (ask.com)

Being coachable is a key life skill.  Ask any coach or athlete.  If you aren’t coachable, you are not willing or open to trying new things, to improving yourself, to developing beyond where you currently are.  I watch my son on the baseball field as the coach tells him how to improve his pitching – praying for that firm “Yes Sir!” answer and the openness to try to do what the coach is telling him. It isn’t easy if you are 11 years old and think you have all the answers.  That the world is totally black and white and you know the truth ‘bout most anything with a capital “T”. 

But what I notice is, when Taggart's not feeling attacked or if he's being told about something he hasn’t had any experience with – pitching, for example, or kissing (which he informed me the other night he learned how to do from youtube . . . of course, this is one I’m going to have to do a little follow-up on this week!) - he is open and receptive.  A little tentative, perhaps, but he is taking in and trying new behaviors to see if they work (except that kissing! Which he swears he hasn’t tried yet and will wait a couple more years for . . . I hope!!).

A great tool I learned at a recent workshop on “Building a Balance: Encouraging Responsibility in Teens and Tweens” by Bill Willson, is to ask Taggart: “Can I have permission to coach right now?”  Using this when I want to give Taggart advice or feedback allows for two things:  a choice on his part and receptivity/buy-in.  Now Bill was quick to point out that often kids will say, “NO!!” initially.  However, after a few minutes they usually come back around and ask for the feedback on their own.  By giving them a choice, they feel more in control and if they do give permission, you have a more receptive listener and their buy-in too.  Win-win  (now, if I can just remember to actually ask for permission next time I want to give him some advice instead of jumping right in . . . how coachable am I, I wonder???)

This, of course, leads us to the question: Can you teach an old dog new tricks?  Well, if you are coachable, it’s a resounding yes!  I think of my grandfather, who in retirement, learned to do handwriting analysis and became quite good at “reading” people based on their handwriting.  I think of my mom who, at 70, is constantly open to new apps and new ways of using her computer, iPad, and photography programs to the best of her ability.  She’s open and hungry to learn – even when it’s scary, she feels like a dummy (her words not mine!), or it’s hard.  She sticks with it.  Her favorite piece of advice: “Look it up on youtube!”  (Ahhh, maybe that’s where Taggart came up with his research strategy for Kissing 101!!).

Regardless of your age, your past, or your fears, ask yourself:  Am I coachable?  Open to feedback?  Willing to learn?  There are always new tricks to learn – for dogs old and young alike.  You just have to be receptive.

So don't hold back.  Don't let habits or old ways of doing things or even old truths you used to believe hold you back.  Be open. Be brave. Be coachable. And learn a new trick (or at least a new kissing technique!).  Be that dog.