Warts and All

I have this mole on my left shoulder and it was one I thought needed to be checked. Having been a savage sun worshipper for a solid twenty years or so, I feel like I’ve gambled with skin cancer and may not come out without paying some sort of price. So, I went to my primary care physician and had her look at it.

“Oh that, that’s nothing to worry about. That’s just a weed in the garden of life,” she told me. O.K. It’s not a problem. Just a weed in the garden of life. Just an innocuous brown mole on my shoulder that looks not-so-pretty but is totally harmless. Its presence on my shoulder doesn’t bother me now that I know it’s simply a dandelion. In fact, I knew I’d really become a grown-up when things like my mole didn’t faze me. I don’t care anymore about how dark my tan lines are or about being smaller than God made me. There’s something really healthy about this – it’s both freeing and grounding.

It allows me to tell Taggart – who has a couple warts on his hand and knee – that it’s no big deal. They’ll go away sooner or later and they don’t hurt anything. And he believes me and that’s good. When I hold his hand and bump into the wart on his knuckle, I give it an extra little rub – silently saying, “You don’t trouble us a bit – we’re good with you. Stay if you must or leave when you’re able but know, we’re not bothered.” Now, I wouldn’t have wanted it at seven years old but he’s totally O.K. with it and I think that’s great. Very healthy. I’m proud of him (and I’m O.K. with it too – not that it’s about me, mind you!).

It affords me the opportunity to say to a friend who struggles with her body image, "You are a beautiful woman - so much more than the size of your arms or the number on a tag! You are healthy and vibrant and your kids and husband think you've hung the moon." Please don't waste your time - don't give up on your garden - for those few little weeds. Your garden is bountiful and rich. Dwell on that.

It lets me look at my relationship with my husband – which, like any relationship, has its fair share of ups and downs – and know that whatever is going on is a bump in the road and not a marital hi-jacking of sorts. No, just a little weed, saying, “Look at me. Pull me if you must. Or accept me and let me be, and know that the garden’s still big and beautiful with me in its midst.”

Little life lessons about picking your battles – knowing when a weed is a weed or when it’s something big and invasive. Knowing when a wart is a wart and not a self-esteem demolisher. Knowing when to say when. And, when to accept what is . . . warts and all.