I Am That

In a yoga class about ten years ago, the teacher ended the session by telling us to do one thing over the next week that would help hone our awareness. She said that every time we made a judgment – good or bad – we needed to take a deep breath and say to ourselves, “I am that.”

So when we are really frustrated in traffic and need to get somewhere fast, after we've called the person in front of us a “Jackrabbit!” for lack of a better swear word amidst little ears, we take a deep breath and say, “I am that.” Or, when we are out walking on a cool morning, breathing in the air and the beauty of spring’s bounty all around us, we see a particularly beautiful coral poppy swaying in the breeze and say, “I am that.”

This exercise comes to me, not every day, but at times when it seems I really need the reminder. It tunes me in not only to my own thoughts, biased judgments, and cup half full or half empty mentality but most importantly reinforces the connections we all share. It only makes sense that if the universe is made of energy – and there are scientists who say it is so – then whatever energy we send out, we receive (call it what you will – karma, serendipity, coming full circle). And if we remind ourselves that we are the very good or bad that we see all around us by saying, “I am that”, then we begin to cultivate an awareness filled with compassion, intention, and love.

There’s that other little thing too. The thing my minister has said on a variety of occasions that I find insightful and sometimes too close to home. When we have a really strong reaction – again, positive or negative – to someone or something, we are usually seeing something that we identify with and that resonates within us. For better or worse. Other people are our mirrors and often reflect what we most need to see and learn.

These ideas have changed how I walk around in the world. They make me a little less right (remember, I call myself a recovering perfectionist – to earn this title I had to admit I am not always right!), a little less likely to judge, more tender with myself and others – softer and rounder in ways I don’t mind and have even grown to like.

Here’s the thing: we are all doing the best we can in this dance called life. We live, we learn, we love, we grow. Hopefully keeping ourselves open each step of the way. Open and balanced. Connected to others through love and compassion. Growing in awareness. Willing to embrace the new and different . . . yes, I am that.