The Presence of Christmas

MORE PRESENCE, LESS STUFF . . . are you with me on this?  My daughter Sage certainly isn’t.  At eight, she still believes.  Which I am thrilled about because BELIEVING is one of the very best things in life. Believing in Santa (or even that damn elf on the shelf!) . . . Believing in growth, that an itty-bitty acorn can grow into a magnificent, grand oak . . . Believing in love, that it can transcend all things . . . Believing in anything bigger than ourselves is one of the very best gifts in life. 

BELIEVING IS WONDROUS.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for wonder and believing. But here’s the thing. Santa is tired. Very tired.  And though he’s still coming, Mrs. Claus had a talk with him this year.  And it went something like this: “Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.”  (Well, that might have been my dad’s two cents but now that he’s in heaven and I’m pretty sure that’s close to the North Pole, he might just have the Clauses’ ears this year!).

 So, as I told Sage, Santa got in touch with me.

“HOW?” she demanded.  “Well, he e-mailed me,” I shared. “Santa can talk to all the parents whenever he needs to.” “O.K . . .” she replied a bit warily. And this is how the conversation went.

Me: Honey, I’ve decided we are going to do Christmas a little differently this year.  Since we have so much stuff already and we really don’t need much, this is what we are going to do this Christmas. 

Each of us can ask for four things:

• Something we WANT
• Something we NEED
• Something to EXPERIENCE
• Something to READ

Her: Nope.  I’m not doing that.  No way. I’m asking for WAY MORE than four things. Just so you know.

Me: Well, you can ask.  But I’ve discussed this with your dad and with Santa. And Santa has a lot of kids to think about, kids who don’t have homes or even families.  If we do this, it helps Santa and he can also help those children that don’t have as much as we do.

Her: Whatever Mom. I’M NOT DOING THAT.

(And she marched, tall and straight, right on outta the room.)

Later that night, as we sat down to dinner, Sage says, “Taggart?  Did mom tell you what we are doing for Christmas this year?”  And Taggart responds, “No. What?”  Sage continues, “Mom says it’s going to be one thing we want, one thing we need, one thing to experience, and something to read.  Can you believe it? We ARE SO NOT doing that, right?”

Me, in my head, “Whatever Sage.”

I get it. It’s hard to be eight-years-old and used to Christmas being one way and then it getting switched up on you.  But kids are resilient.  AND SHE’LL BE FINE.  It’s not like I told her we’re cancelling Christmas.  Just toning it down.  Making it count. Matter. Making them think long and hard about their four main requests.  Quality over quantity.  Less is more (she hasn’t gotten this memo yet!).   

More presence, less stuff.

I KNOW Sage got it, that she’s with me on some level, because the next night when I got home after a meeting, Sage had written this on the notepad on the fridge:

 Maybe somewhere in wise Sage’s big heart, she IS with me. Perhaps she knows, on some deep level - like me - that we need to take back the presence of Christmas and illuminate the true spirit of the season in our homes, churches, and communities in ways that really matter. 

The retailers and marketers have done a number on us and most of us have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. (And I don’t know about you but I don’t want to hear Christmas music in stores before my Thanksgiving prayer’s even been said!)

But here’s the thing: They are not the boss of us. And we don’t have to play their game. As much as they want us to. Hurry, scurry, run, run, run. Don’t miss this sale. Limited time offer!  Use your credit card, pay later.  Distract yourself with more stuff.  Take two aspirin and call us in the morning (you’ll get an automated response) . . . Believe me, no one wants this holiday hangover.

Which is exactly why I’m taking back our Christmas this year. Calling it OURS. Making it OURS. And yes, where I can, it's simplify, simplify, simplify.  Just this week, I wrote to two of my favorite cousins and asked, “Can we NOT send presents to each other’s families this year, given that we all have more than we need? Perhaps we can find other ways throughout the year to celebrate each other?”  Their answers: “Yes! We agree. Let’s take that off our to-do lists and focus on each other on our birthdays.”  Hip-Hip-Hooray!

This now frees the kids and I up to do a little more for the two angels we selected off their school’s Angel Tree and allows our time and energy to be spent in ways that make a difference, for people in real NEED.   Or saying “no” to some gatherings so that our family can more fully experience the season of giving, the reason for the season. This week it was declining a party at the in-laws because I had already signed our family up to volunteer at our church for Room in the Inn.  We’ll make beds for the homeless men that will stay at our church for the night and serve them dinner.  We will talk and visit with them and perhaps hear some of their stories.

I am hoping we will be reminded of what real need looks like and that we will walk away fuller than when we arrived, with a welcome and much-needed reminder that we are all connected. Not by the material, but by the fact that we are all human. Each of us, spiritual beings having a human experience, learning to love and to truly see one another.

I hope – through this season and throughout our days in the coming year – we open ourselves to those presents, to those gifts.  May we all be so blessed.