Being Without

Over a year ago, I stopped writing and contributing to my blog – Moments of Grace. I could say I was too busy, too stressed, too tired but the truth of the matter is, I did not make my writing a priority. And in doing that, I robbed myself and others of my gifts. Simple though they may be, my words, ideas, and thoughts are what I have to share. And in not sharing, I have felt closed off and disconnected.

Coming back to where I started – and where I left off – has been in large part due to the passing of my grandfather, Gerry James Mundy, Sr. My Grampa would have been 89 this week and he and my grandmother were married 68 (!) years. They had eight children, nineteen grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren (and more on the way!). What an indelible mark his passing leaves on so many who loved him.


Not surprisingly, his passing woke me up, once again, to what is most important for me in this life. Family and friends, love, kindness, connection. Finding meaning in our human experiences and shaping how we want to be remembered for our time here on Earth.

This morning I went through all the e.mails my grandfather had sent me over the past ten years. And he was quite an e.mailer – not afraid to forward any ole e.mail he found amusing or interesting, he often filled up our inboxes with information we didn’t want or need. Nevertheless, there was always his commentary along with the message – and that usually had some invaluable nugget of wisdom or humor. Almost always worth the price of a full inbox.

One of the e.mails I ran across was after my Grandma and Grampa had come to visit us one summer at Higgins Lake. The next week he wrote the following to me:

“Really loved being with you and that ‘lil big guy on our visit. We wish you lived just around the corner so that we were afforded the opportunity to watch Taggart develop. This business of seeing him (and you, too, of course) at such long intervals robs us of so much. That's why a visit such as we enjoyed last week is so very special. I still smile when I think of Taggart walking by and saying, straight out of the blue, ‘like your ring, Grampa’. It's a truism that we don't really appreciate fully all of the blessings we have. It takes being without them for an extended period of time to get our sense of value re-focused."

Well, being without my grandfather has truly brought my focus back to the many blessings within my life. I am ever-thankful for his and my grandmother’s presence and dedication to my growth and good. Two of the most loving, kind, generous people, they have helped shape me and have left their imprint on my soul. I owe so much of who I am to them and I will uphold and share their values and virtues.

Like them, I will share what I have been given and pass on what I have learned and gleaned in my life thus far. Being without my writing – as one of my blessings – has been stifling and lonesome. A part of myself hidden in armor of my own donning, my soul couldn’t breathe in such tight quarters. So, free like my grandfather, I am writing again – to honor his memory and to most fully be me. My soul is catching its breath. I am putting myself out there once more.

And in this capacity, being without has served me well.