Expect Less

A couple years ago I told my brother about a small pocket charm I’d seen in a basket amidst coin-sized angels and peace symbols. It read, “Expect less”. At the time, I was subtly offended by it, optimist that I am. Expect less . . . well that’s crap, I thought. Expect less? Well expect more for God’s sake. Life is short. Play hard. “Expect the best!” is what I thought it should have said.

Ironically, when I opened my birthday card from my brother that year, I found tucked in the card, the small square token inscribed with “Expect less”. I think he sent it as a joke because of our discussion and because of how riled up I was but I also thought there might be more to it.

So I thought about it.

And, I’ve come to the conclusion that there truly is great wisdom to be found there. Particularly for folks – hhh-hmmm – who might have control issues or fondly refer to themselves as recovering perfectionists. In speaking solely for myself, I have always wanted to be the best that I can, to have the best, to do the best. I don’t measure myself against externals but have some crazy internal tape measure that sometimes is impossibly long and unwieldy. And lots of times, I realize amidst my pushing and pulling, that I simply need to cut myself some slack and reel the tape measure in. Aha! Yes. Lower my expectations . . . and expect a little less.

The other piece of this that I’ve figured out since turning over this whole “expect less” theory in my mind is that I think the flip side of the token needs to be inscribed with “Accept what is”. Because if we simply accept what is, our expectations – high or low – cannot ambush us. If we simply accept what is in each moment – and isn’t this truly all we have control over? - we live more fully and presently. Less in our heads and in our expectations of right and wrong, good and bad.

So here I am at Higgins Lake with my kids and my mom. One week down and three to go. I’m literally at one of the most special places on Earth. And I always have a lot of expectations about how this time should go. How much I should be working on Singing Heart Press. How I should be writing every day. Contributing to my blog at least twice a week. Running – not walking – to keep myself in good shape. The list (expectations) could go on.


But I’m going to put my theory into action – every good educator's true measure of success. For my time here at least, for the next three weeks, I am going to “Expect less” and “Accept what is”. If not, I am going to miss so much of this special place. And, I don’t want to miss a thing.

Right now, I hear the wind whispering in the trees, I see the early evening sunlight glittering across the lake – a prelude to the coming sunset. I hear children from the ball field calling to each other and playing at the park. I see our red, white, and blue flag waving in the breeze – a constant reminder of our many blessings. I am writing. I am breathing deeply. My expectations are manageable: to simply accept what is.