As I get older and life takes on more and more gray (and no, I’m not talking about my hair but we could be!), I’ve realized perfection is a lousy goal. Not only is it unrealistic, it’s simply not any fun (for me or those other braves souls who love me and call me their own). Perfection doesn’t work because life is messy. And it’s learning to live with and love this messiness that makes the journey as worthwhile as any happy ending.
In fact, when I bumped into my future husband at 6:00 a.m. on a public golf course as we both walked our puppies, I had no thoughts of perfection or “happily ever after”. What I thought was this: I just met the nicest guy on the golf course, walking the cutest Golden Retriever. Genuine, kind, unassuming. Solid. And I left it at that. We walked and talked on that golf course for six more months before we moved in together. Two years later we got married. Did I mention I had rolled right out of bed the morning I met my future husband – glasses on, frumpy warm clothes, maybe I brushed my teeth (maybe not . . ). Oh, and six months after the wedding, we had Taggart (you do the math . . . ).
My point being: perfection and control had nothing to do with the unfolding of our life together. I let go and it just happened. It is the journey we share, the living in the moment and not knowing exactly how it’s all going to come together that defines us. After we’d dated for a year I made Jeff a scrapbook and titled it: “Happily Ever . . . In the Moment”. Because rather than waiting for someone else to make me happy, we are creating our happiness one moment at a time.
And then we had kids . . .and I had to jump on the recovering perfectionist wagon with all my might. And, I constantly remind myself of the futility of falling off. Little ones running around pulling pillows off the couch, diapers off their bottoms, socks off their feet . . . in ten minutes, the house I just spent half a day cleaning and straightening looks like the house I set out to clean just this morning!
So again, we’re back to moments. Sage’s naked little body streaking through the house after she’s taken all her clothes off for the third time. Taggart’s determination while building a pillow fort in the middle of the living room with every single pillow in the house. A pile of dishes in the sink after a wonderful dinner we’ve all shared together . . . Here’s the thing: Our hearts are full. We are happy and healthy. We have so much to be thankful for. And luckily, my family doesn’t mind a little dust. Good thing, because I’ve just about given up on the cleaning all together! Life’s messy; and, I’m busy trying to love each and every moment.
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